It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.Frederick Douglass
I believe the way you raise your children is the way you raise your future generations. Most of us simply treat our children the way our parents treated us. I’m not saying it’s wrong, it’s just we don’t know another way to do it. Although being a parent is a great joy, it also involves huge responsibility.
Parenting is Not a Piece of Cake
Trust me raising children is not a piece of cake. Every now and again you’ll feel, I’m not good enough, I don’t know what to do or am I doing it right? But to be honest,while I would do anything for my child, that zeal is not enough. We need to develop the skills of excellent parents. We cannot just hope that the way we are bringing up our kids is the right way and hope that we will be lucky enough that they become intelligent, caring and sensible adults. We must take the initiative to improve our parenting abilities by attending seminars or reading books by the leading experts in this field or by refining our beliefs to find the parenting strategies that suit our families.
Ways To Improve Parenting
The following are some ways to enhance our parenting skills :
1. Don’t Ignore Them.
Make it a priority to know what your kids fear, and what they feel uncomfortable about or what your kids are hoping from you. Listen and ask questions, even if they ignore you or try to escape answering. When you affirm that you care, you are showing them that you love them and that they are your first priority.
2. Don’t Try To Fix Everything.
Give your kids a chance to find their own solutions. When you lovingly acknowledge a child’s minor mistakes, it would be better to make them learn from their mistakes and find a solution on their own, without immediately rushing in to save them, that way you teach them self-reliance and strength.
3. Don’t Be Too Strict.
Enforcing limits is really about teaching kids how to behave in the world and helping them to become competent, caring, and disciplined. Don’t be so hard on them. Tough limits may temporarily control behaviour, but they don’t help a child learn self-discipline. Instead, harsh boundaries trigger resistance to taking responsibility for themselves. They become more stubborn and careless.
4. Make Cheerful Memories
Your children will probably not remember anything that you say to them, but they will recall the family rituals — like bedtimes and game night — that you do together. So spend some quality time with them and cherish those lovely moments. They are going to be the best memories that you’ll remember in future.
5. Be a Good Role Model
Don’t do or say anything in front of your children that you wouldn’t want them to do. If you find yourself displaying behaviour that you don’t want your child to mimic, then it’s a sign you should change how you react in certain situations. Kids will mimic you not what you say. So keep an eye on your behaviour and be an ideal role model for your child.
“Most things are good, and they are the strongest things; but there are evil things too, and you are not doing a child a favor by trying to shield him from reality. The important thing is to teach a child that good can always triumph over evil.”
I know your life is busy and there is an awful lot to do in too little time. But those incredible years of your sons’ and daughter’s childhoods will never come again. And if you do not devote the time and effort to become the best parent, one day you will deeply regret the lost opportunity. So go and spend some quality time with your children. Play with them, make them happy and cherish those lovely moments.
“The best way to make children good is to make them happy.”Oscar Wilde