As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.Nelson Mandela
Forgiveness is a Selfish Act
Many people view forgiveness as something that helps the person being forgiven. It certainly can make them feel better, but forgiveness benefits you most of all.
I believe that forgiving someone who has wronged you is a selfish act rather than a selfless one because letting go of the resentment and hatred that you have bottled up inside you is something you do for yourself rather than for the benefit of the other person.
Forgiveness Helps You Heal
You Know, when you carry a grudge against someone, it is almost as if you carry some burden on your back and bit by bit, it soaks your strength, enthusiasm and serenity from your life. But the moment you forgive that person, you get the burden off your back and you can move on with the rest of the world.
Forgiveness Has Medical Benefits
By practicing forgiveness, you may be doing your health a favor.
Forgiveness helps reduce stress and that can have positive health outcomes, including:
- Improved blood pressure
- reduced anxiety
- better sleep
- improved self-esteem
Forgiveness may also allow you to let go of unhealthy anger, which can contribute to:
- Slow ageing
- lower inflammation
- Prevent skin break-outs
- Improve libido
- Produce “feel-good” chemicals in the brain
So Are You Ready To Forgive?
If you are determined to forgive, here’s how to get started:
1. Write a Letter
Not sure where to begin? Start by writing down your thoughts and feelings. It helps you vent out every grudge or negative feelings you have in your heart. It will make you calm.
Writing down your emotions, like how you reacted to the situation and how you’ve felt since the incident occurred can also help you recognize triggers that make you upset and can encourage positive self-talk. It’s up to you whether you want to dispose of that letter or keep it with you.
2. Understand Their Perspective
If it makes sense for your situation, you may want to think about why the other person betrayed you. Whether it be because they are dealing with some personal issues from the past or because they honestly didn’t realize how they were acting, understanding why they did and what they did can help you heal, too.
3. Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Reconciliation
It’s important to keep in mind that forgiving someone doesn’t mean that everything is hunky-dory. Unfortunately, the old phrase “forgive and forget” isn’t really beneficial in real life. You should remember what someone has done to you, even if it means you can no longer be a part of their life. Chances are, you’ve lost some of your respect for them, and if you don’t want to be around them, that’s your call. This is the time to be selfish and decide what’s right for you.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”Mahatma Gandhi
Yes, forgiveness is a great act of courage. Actually, It is also one of the best ways to enrich the quality of your life because every minute you devote to think about someone who has done something bad to you, is a minute wasted from your precious life. So just let it go. Focus on something better. Focus on the present.